Self–control is the ability to control one’s emotions, behavior, and desires in the face of external demands, to function in society. In psychology it is sometimes called self-regulation, although that is itself a somewhat broader concept.
-A super-quick Google search
I am now able to admit this publicly: I lack self-control.
This finally hit home when I checked my December 2015 bank statement and discovered that in the first two weeks of the month, I had spent $80+ on Starbucks alone. (Who did I think I was?? Clearly not ME with my Broke Phi Broke income).
A Financial Self Control 101 crash course, brought to me by Mint, (this app is REAL; has me now questioning every purchase I make/adhering to a rigid budget I’ve recently created) inspired me to also investigate other aspects of my life where self-control/self-regulation sucks:
- My writing
- My reading
- My meditation
What I have learned is that NETFLIX eats up a lot of my creative time and sucks away at a lot of personal/creative energy. I have spent the better part of a month’s winter vacation sitting on my couch binge-watching Sons of Anarchy like there wasn’t a million and one other things I should have and could have been doing.
There have been so many instances in the past where I’ve said: Courtney, you’re going to do more of this; Courtney you’re no longer going to do that — and remained consistent for maybe two days. I would congratulate myself by taking a day off of whatever I was doing. The day off became an extended vacation became basically my life became no progress having been made.
I think it was so hard to admit I had a problem with Stick-To-It -iveness before now because I imagined self-control meaning just the ability to NOT do something, and usually something dark like refraining from alcohol. But I now know having control over self is more than refraining from doing something. It also means having control over what I DO do too.
So, this is me, revamping my blog and hopefully trying this self-control/consistency thing out here again. I’ve tried it before and it didn’t work out. We’ll see what happens going forward.
Come join me. Keep me motivated.